Australia 2011?
You have to be kidding?
You, who?
Yoo hoo?
No. You. Who.
Okay, enough of that- I finally get to tour One Man Lord of the Rings down under. I’ve had three tours of One Man Star Wars around Oz, and every time I’ve flown away I wonder: “will I ever see Australia again?”
Australia is actually bigger that this. And not as uniformly wet.
The answer is yes.
And let me just say that if you’ve never been, GO!
Now! Book your ticket!
Yes, there are dozens of animal species that can kill you just by thinking about it, like:
The Devil Faced Death Adder- only poisonous to “living” things.
Flying Lions- A type of bat with a 40 metre wingspan. They eat fruit mostly. And people.
or
Leaping Leopard Spiders- but don’t be worried, they’re mostly found outdoors. Except for the indoor ones.
the dreaded
Vampire “Satan” Bears. Scary, but tasty.
and finally the vicious:
Razor-backed Rabbits- as you can see they had me surrounded. Also delicious.
Still, most wild/domestic animals won’t attack/maim/eat you, unless they’re hungry, threatened, alone, or with others.
So there’s nothing to be afraid of.
Plus, if you find yourself in anyway uncomfortable it’s best to carry
A Broadsword- just make sure to check it before you fly.
Life, in Australia, is a lot like anywhere else in Canada.
The major exception being Skydiving, which is slightly more hazardous there, than in Canada.
Flying Crocs. Again, no worries, this is just a small one at a public pool. Hey, this is a dangerous-ish animal too, right? I forgot. Yeah, these can kill you too. But only if you see one. Or it sees you. Then you’re dead for sure. So, be careful.
Enough of the animals- I’m talking about the tour.
Once again, the mild mannered master, Tim Woods
Tim and Moi
is Producer of this our 4th tour together. You may have heard of his company Tim Woods’ Productions.
We’re all over the place: Hobart (TAZMANIA!), Adelaide, Perth, Canberra, Sydney (AT THE SYDNEY OPERA HOUSE!!!), Melbourne and Brisbane. Even in my most intoxicated moments, I never thought I’d get the chance to perform at the Sydney Opera House.
Of course, at this point I would have believed anything.
I can’t wait. Even though I have to.
I will keep you up to date. And I’ll see you down there.